Dear 20 Year Old Me

I’ve had this post written for months, but was not sure if I would ever publish it. It’s hard for me to think back to the person I was at age 20. I was newly married, had moved across the country to a city where I knew no one and all of a sudden had a lot of growing up to do. I had a ton of anxiety and I would say looking back, it was the first time I suffered from seasonal depression. I was lonely and unsure of what the future held. My faith in God was shaky and we struggled to find a church that felt like home. If I knew then how life would have turned out, I wonder if I would have suffered so much. Maybe I would have because I would always be living for the future. Anyway, what this letter to myself has taught me is to be patient through the trials. Don’t always be looking ahead to the next best thing. Enjoy the here and now, because one day, we’ll look back on these days as the good ol’ days.

Dear 20 year old me,

Life will be so much better than you can even imagine.

You will be given opportunities to grow deeper in your faith. And opportunities to serve in a variety of different ways. Take those opportunities.

You will be a leader. Not only that, but you’ll help develop other leaders! Your confidence in yourself will grow and you will learn to love yourself. This is a wonderful thing.

There will be people who come into your life for seasons, and they will teach you a lot. Learn from them and move on.

And then there will be people who will weather the storms with you. They will stand by you and love you and encourage you and give you much wisdom. Embrace and cherish those friendships.

You will have two amazing children. A girl and boy. They turn out great, and all of those hours spent worrying about them will be for not. However, you have the biggest mama’s heart, and you love them deeply and will do anything to protect them.

They will each have their own struggles and challenges. But not the ones you think they will have. Pray hard for them. Talk about Jesus with them. Teach them scripture and what it looks like to live a life of faith.  They will need this.

You’re already married to your husband. He is a good, good man. Solid and loyal, generous and kind. He will love you so well, and show you an abundance of grace every day.  Make sure he knows how deeply you love him.

Your health. I know you worry a lot about it, but you’ll be ok. Eating healthy will benefit you a lot. Stay away from dairy and gluten though! Also, drink a lot of water.

Exercise. Even when you don’t feel like it, do it.

Once you form this habit, it will stick with you. You will be shocked at how strong your body is and what it can do.

Finally, don’t be afraid to take the anti-anxiety medication. It will really help you. You will be anxious about taking it, but that along with counselling will help you heal and help others as well.

Life is truly wonderful. Breathe deep and soak it all in ❤️

Love 42 year old you